Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Movin' on Up!

Try REAL hard not to be jealous...but I get to spend the afternoon tomorrow MOVING! And the heat index is only 100! Yippee! No, I didn't get kicked out of mi casa...I'm telling my storage unit to SHOVE IT tomorrow. I found another facility much closer to my house, and the best part is: They've never been robbed! Sign me up!

So in the afternoon, I have to go rent a trailer, go to my unit, unload 10x10 worth of crap into it and then unload it into the new one. Since it's the company's money, I'm renting the trailer for 48 hours vs. 24...I mean..why kill myself? I think it will be in best interest to skip the gym in the morning, as I will be sweating like a hog in heat all afternoon. Argh.

On a happy note, I wore my "other" fat pants today. They're the ones I bought to transition INTO maternity before. Long story short, they're 2 sizes smaller than the ones I got a couple months ago. Better than a sharp stick to the eye, and hey, it's progress!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

What's next? No fat chicks?

So this weekend marks probably the third or fourth time I've asked my husband to ask my mother-in-law to stop calling my daughter "piglet" or "porker" when she eats all of her food or wants a snack shortly after a meal. Anyone wanna back me up here? Maybe I'm overreacting, but for some reason it REALLY bothers me when she does this. My daughter is in no way overweight, but it just seems like this "joking" is over-the-top unnecessary. Let's see just how early we can give my daughter a horrible body image and/or an eating disorder! I hear they're really starting younger these days! Jeez.

My husband said something to her last night (supposedly for the second time) and of course her reaction was "Oh, I'm just teasing her! I'm not serious!". Oh, well I guess that makes it OK. Sigh. Then my husband and I had this dumb argument as to what constituted "name-calling". He says "Well, I call her 'cutie', and that's a name". My stand is that "name-calling" is something derogatory or unflattering. Does the person feel good when you use the 'name' or is it something that you wouldn't mind her saying to someone else? If no, then it's name-calling and I think it needs to stop. In my opinion, you set the example for kids as far as what is and is not OK to say to other people or how to treat them. You try not to swear in front of your kids so they don't, in turn, swear. Why would you call your child an unflattering name? Then what happens when your child's school calls telling you your daughter sent her chubby classmate into a crying fit when she called her "porker". Do you see where I'm coming from? After two "warnings" I'll just nut-up and say something myself next time. I like to make my husband do the dirty work since it's his mom, but I've really had enough. I've never had any confrontation with my mother-in-law and really don't want to start, but enough is enough! Stop saying mean things to my daughter! Is it really too much to ask?

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Suck It, 411!

I learned a neato new trick yesterday! It was a little blurb in a magazine and when I read it, I thought.."Oh, c'mon. That won't work". Soooo I tried it...and it worked!

Instead of dialing 411 on your cell phone to get a number (which typically costs $1.25 per call) you can text message Google and they will send you what you need. All you do is type in the word "googl" (Google without the "e"...46645) as the phone number, and then type in the name of the place you want with either the city or the zip code & hit "send". About 5 seconds later you get a message back from Google with the entire address and phone number of the place you're looking for. How cool is that?! Of course, typing all that crap in takes longer than dialing 411, but when you need directory assistance as often as I do, that shit adds up!

Since I am a gadget/computer moron, it's always nice to discover a fun little trick like that, that I can actually use. Now if I can only get the VCR to stop flashing 12:00, I'll be golden!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

What Happens in Vegas...

Is something I may never know. My husband is there this weekend with a big group of guys for a bachelor party. Nifty! Just where you want your husband to be when you're forty pounds overweight with a new baby at home. But someone asked me "how did you let him get away with that"? Short answer: if I were him, I'd be there too. We both maintain independent active social lives, so if my girls were going, I'd be there. He keeps calling me, though. On one hand, that's nice, but on the other hand, I told him his friends were going to think he was whipped. He actually said "It'd be more fun if you were here" to which I replied "but you can't pick up chicks when I'm around". Ha, ha. Plus, if he were going with me, I doubt he would have tanned for two weeks prior to departure. Humph. It does sound like they are more or less behaving themselves.

I was "lucky" enough to put my degree in Public Relations to work for my husband and his friends, though. He was worried (excessively) that no hot club in Vegas would admit a group of eight guys, so I came up with a brilliant plan for him. I suggested he call each club they are interested in, and attempt to get on the VIP lists. Fortunately for him, his job has a fairly high profile "title", so I told him the exact wording to use to insure the red-carpet treatment. Every single place he called put them on "the list", many with the VIP status, which included free cover (A $20 value!) To blow them off would have made the club managers look like total jackasses. So I garnered many accolades for my contribution. Wahoo. He had the nerve to tell me on the phone today what a GREAT tan he managed to get without ever burning! "Good for you...must be nice". How ELSE do you respond to that? I've been toiling with the other white-meats all weekend long. "Come to class tonight...it'll be a GREAT one", e-mails my trainer. Yeah, not so much. I'm a prisoner in my own home this weekend with my little gifts from God. No exercise for me! (Like it matters). Anyway, my "revenge" will hopefully be some type of spa destination trip in the late fall. I'll try to persuade my sister & some friends into going with me. Ahhhh. Spaaaa. And what happens at the spa....ahhh, hell. It's just not the same is it?

(on a side note, my spell-checker wanted to replace "jackasses" with "Chickasaws", whatever the hell that is...)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Enterprise does NOT want to pick you up!

But they will when threatened! My company car broke down this weekend. Yes, it's an '05. Thank you Ford! The transmission went out when my husband was driving it. So I call my fleet car service. The guy immediately arranges for a tow and service. Then he calls Enterprise. He knows most locations close at noon on Saturday and it is 11:00 a.m. I get one call back from Enterprise. They are trying to bounce me over to another location that stays open until three. OK. The other location is actually much closer to me than the original location. So after the clock ticks over to 2:30, I thought I'd better call since I hadn't heard anything. So I call the new location. The phone is answered by the manager who proceeds to tell me that she was under the impression that I was coming in on my own. Um...no. I need you guys to come & get me. "Well...we close at three, and I don't think we have time. Our computers shut down at three." Oh, really? You mean like a timed bank vault? Wow. That is SO weird that you physically cannot work late. Gee, I'd love to service more customers, but LOOK! My computer just shut down. Yeah, right. So then I start giving her directions to my house. It should not take more than 12 minutes or so to get there. She interrupts me mid-sentence and says "Just where is it that you think WE are!? It will take FOREVER to get there!". Um, yeah. THEN she wants a credit card number since the only vehicle they have is a major upgrade. IF my fleet company approves the additional amount, then fine. I called my guy at the fleet company and he FLIPPED HIS LID! He was so ticked, that I actually got a kick out of it. He called Susie McDumbBitch and tore her a new one. YES! They would be picking me up and NO! There would be no extra charge.

I wrote my company's sales coordinator to tell her how great our fleet's customer service was. It's so rare that anyone gives a damn anymore, that it's great when you get someone who actually cares.

The only bad news is that the SUV I have now is SO much nicer than my company car I am getting spoiled! Keep that Escape as lonnng as you want!

I'll be Brief...

BUT...let me tell you that I almost cried in my Step class this morning. You know me...NOT a crier. Per my last post, I've been working my butt off (apparently, NOT literally). I sweat so much at the gym that it looks like I stood under the shower with my clothes on. After THREE weeks of killing myself, I got up the nerve to step onto the scale right before class. Guess what?!? I've lost ONE whole pound! ONE EFFING POUND! It's against the laws of nature and physics!!! One CANNOT sweat & aerobicize THIS much for three weeks and lose ONE POUND!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!! What...the...HELLLL!!!! One week? Two weeks? Maybe not. BUT THREE WEEKS! Jesus.

Oh...that just reminded me that when my daughter got exasperated the other day she said "Jesus Christ!". Whoa. Thanks for that one honey! That is totally my husband's fault, so after a little talk with my daughter, she now dimes HIM out if he says it. Of course, this is the same guy that thinks the word "crap" is an acceptable replacement when he WANTS to say "shit". I'm like, "do you really want her saying 'crap' at preschool?" Sigh.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Thin Fairy

Well, I'm still waiting for THAT bitch to show up! I've been working out (yes, even with a trainer once a week although I can hardly afford it), sweating my ASS off, eating right and taking a prescription diet pill..and...nada. I mean, I'm sure I've lost a little weight, but since I have an aversion to scales, I just go by the mirror and how clothes fit. Boy is it ever coming off slowly. I'm sure this is what happened last time, but since I've pretty much mentally blocked the first year of my daughter's existence, I can't tell ya. The giant fat "work pants" (black slacks) I bought have been taken in once, but are still huge. I had a real thrill today when I stepped onto an elevator that had mirrors all the way around. I got to enjoy a rather stark view of my enormous backside all the way to the fourth floor! And the worst part was, from the FRONT, I thought the work clothes I had pulled together looked "OK". Mmmm.

My biggest fear this time around is that my age is fighting me back. I worry that since I'm five years older than when I last did this, I won't be able to achieve or maintain any results I can live with. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I need to try to scrounge up enough clothing to take on my weekend trip to Minnesota in a few weeks for a friend's wedding. I could wear the same thing I wore to my cousin-in-law's wedding last weekend, but at some point in time, I realized the skirt I had on made me look like I was trying to smuggle two pigs fighting under a blanket, so maybe not so much. I'll keep ya updated on my uphill battle. For now...it's time to go whip up another protein shake. Yummy.

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