Saturday, April 23, 2005

Fashion Don't

Sorry....I've been blogging in my head for about a week & a half. Naturally, I can't remember any of that stuff, so I'll just wing it.

I had a friend come in from out of town for a couple of days. She wanted to go to lunch, and then do "some shopping". First of all, let me say that I am NOT a shopper. When I go to a store or the mall, I usually have something in mind. I go and find it, I buy it & then I get the hell out of Dodge. My mother-in-law is famous for the "wander around and buy nothing" approach to shopping and it drives me NUTS! And she does it ALL THE TIME! Argh! Why are we at the mall again?

So anyway, my friend and I had a lovely lunch which included two glasses of wine each and split a "piece" of chocolate cake that was about the size of an entire cake. Then it was off to wander super-expensive stores where I intended to buy nothing. Holy cow. PLEASE remind me to never go shopping with her again. Over the course of three hours, we went to three whole stores, where my friend tried on loads of clothes and bought nothing. She did put things on hold at each store, though. I didn't even look around much, because I was certainly not going to spend that kind of money on clothing when I'm wearing 3 sizes larger than normal right now. Hell, even at my THINNEST I wouldn't shop in those stores. I am WAY too cheap. Even if I won the lottery, I would still shop at Target. I'd just buy alot more!

So the fashion "don't" I was referring to would be the prairie skirt. You couldn't swing a dead cat in these high end stores without hitting one! What..is..up..with..that?!?! I was leafing through some entertainment magazine awhile back and they had a page showing several stars wearing this latest "fashion". It turns out that no matter how thin and gorgeous you are, prairie skirts STILL make you look dumpy! At least I was able to once and for all prove to myself that I am no slave to "trendy" fashions! It'll be a cold day in hell before I wear one of those. My favorite part was when I saw these items for WELL over $100 in these stores.

My friend succumbed to the lure of current fashion and bought one. I'm sure she'll be happy with her purchase. More for her.

Anyway, after a big lunch, two glasses of wine, enough chocolate to choke a horse and three hours of aimless shopping, I felt as though I had survived a savage beating. Literally. I think I'll stick to Wal-Mart, Target, Old Navy and Kohls for now...at least until the Thin Fairy arrives and my Money Tree blooms.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Damn good question!

My daughter has been inquiring as to the origin of various things lately, like "Where do buildings come from?" Why, people make them of course! Where do tools come from? Well, honey, people make those too! Then the best question yet: "How did people make tools without tools?" This was totally a "which came first, the chicken or the egg" question. I was pretty impressed! I told her to ask her dad. I'm better equipped to answer questions about where babies come from. At least the kid's using her noodle. That'll come in handy for Kindergarten!

Another damn good question is "when am I gonna get some damn sleep?" Oh, my. I'm waiting to start hallucinating any minute now. Instead, I'm just turning into a big bitch...or maybe that IS the hallucination. Naw...it's not. Doesn't hurt to try I guess. To be honest, I've been getting about seven hours a night, but it's not consecutive. According to the "experts", you need seven to eight CONSECUTIVE hours a night to be well rested. Those stiffs really know what they're talkin' about. And once again, that whole "nap when the baby naps" business is hooey. I've done it maybe twice in the past six weeks. Perhaps once I'm back to work, I can sneak in a nap or two per week. Don't tell my new boss they pawned me off on while I was gone. That might not set the right tone, if ya know what I mean.

The baby's doing well. The other morning, when I really wanted to jump out the window to end my exhaustion, I was changing his diaper and he had the wherewithal to give me a great big, full face toothless grin. Smart kid, that one. His cuteness bought him alot to extra-tired mom slack. Two more weeks of 24/7 baby, then it's back to work. Like most working moms, I'm already torn between the guilt of leaving my baby with relative strangers, and the thrill of being back in the grown-up world. Fortunately, my schedule affords me alot of flexibility (at my own discretion) so I can ease back into things. It takes some of the sting out of it anyway.

For now, I need to go make YET ANOTHER batch of soy-filled bottles. It's endless, I tell you! Endless!

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