Monday, January 31, 2005

Isn't true irony fun?

OK...so last year at my company's National Sales Meeting, I was ever-so-lucky to hear more than one schpiel from our VP of Human Resources. I'd never even HEARD of the guy prior to this meeting, but here he was. First, he lectured the sales staff about staying off an anonymous industry web site. Each company has it's own chat board and some of the topics can get pretty scandalous! They threatened to find out "who was responsible" for posting certain things. Sure...whatever. The funny thing was that about half the staff wasn't even aware of the web site. Those of us who were privy didn't waste any time filling in the blanks for the clueless folks. Thanks, idiot. Know we ALL know. Needless to say, our company's page's traffic picked up considerably after that! Ha, ha!

The next lecture was the 'ol "Sexual Harassment" talk. My personal favorite about that speech, was that I just so happened to be seated next to the guy that got an official warning letter put in his file for saying many inappropriate things to me over a year earlier. Just for the record, a male co-worker I am friends with blew the whistle on the guy...not me. My friend just couldn't take the b.s. anymore, so he went to my boss. The rest is awkward history. ANYWAY...all this is leading up to a point.

So I'm on the "elicit" web site last night and I learn that the VP of HR as been "let go". According to the anonymous poster, the official reason was that his job had been "made redundant" by the hiring of another person. Umkay. THEN, the thread goes on to say that rather than steering people away from our industry web site, he SHOULD have been steering people away from the "Megan's Law" website. OK, it rang a bell, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember what "Megan's Law" was. One quick Google search later, and all became clear....our former VP of Human Resources was an f***ing CHILD MOLESTER! Picture, address and all. I mean, come on. How ironic IS THAT! Mr. High and Mighty "don't harass your co-workers" is a registered sex offender. How often do you get to enjoy irony as true and pure as that? One of my counterparts and I giggled over the phone this afternoon about the whole thing. We love good scoop.

So what's the lesson we learned here today, kids? Well, frankly I don't know, but remember that the creeps are lurking everywhere...in every walk of life and behind even the fanciest of titles. So I guess this might be a bit of a "black eye" on my company's record, huh? Tee, hee, hee, hee!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

I guess I don't get it.

My girlfriend came over with her kids the other night and brought "Napoleon Dynamite" for us to watch while the kids watched Spongebob. We had both heard that the movie was SOOOO great! SOOOO funny! Let's WATCH IT, we said. It couldn't have sucked more. I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. I can even empathize with types of humor I personally don't find funny (such as Tom Green). I "get" why other people might like things I don't like. This movie did not fall under this category. I really couldn't find one single redeeming quality of this "film". About ten minutes into it, my friend and I looked at each other and agreed that it had better start getting funny a-sap! Um, nope. Never happened. I don't really have a point, other than to say that that was two hours of my life I will NEVER get back. Please, learn from my mistakes.

We're going to take another shot in the dark later this week and try "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle". We've heard that one was good, too. It may be more up my alley than "Napoleon" was. I could use a good laugh these days so I'm more willing to go out on a limb than usual. I'll let you know how it goes. I would make the trek to our local comedy club, but since they allow smoking, the smell alone just might kill me. Plus, stand-up tends to be just a smidge funnier when you've had a cocktail or two. Perhaps I'll keep that in my post-baby bag of tricks. Cheers!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Tick Tock...

I've been pregnant for, like, ten years. Only four more years to go! A pleasant surprise for me is that my friends are throwing me a shower! I didn't think you got another one after baby #1, but to be honest, there are quite a few things I need. We'll keep it small. I'm afraid that I may be short on a few items that I either gave away or disposed of after my daughter was born, because I said I'd NEVER do this again. Um, yeah.

The baby's room is FINALLY almost done (save a few minor decor items). The only thing left is to get a giant chunk of the carpet in that room cut out and replaced. My former pomeranian thought that because the catbox used to be housed in the closet of that room, he could pee on the corner of the nearby bookcase. Over, and over and over. If he were alive today, I'd kill that dog! The acid has permanently ruined a large piece of carpet. Fortunately, we're in tight with a carpet guy who can fix the problem! Sweet!

On a completely different note, my daughter cracked me up the other night. She's been going hard-core in Phonics lately and doing a great job learning how to read & spell. So after we were discussing how her day went the other night, I asked her if she had a nap at daycare that day. Her response was "What spells "n" and "o"? " How could you not crack up? Man, I am in BIG trouble with that one!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

S.A.D...and other unfortunate events.

My sister and I agree we both suffer from this. (On the off-chance you don't know what this is, it's Seasonal Affective Disorder). I can't even begin to tell you how happy it makes me to have warm sunshine on my face...and how crappy I feel when it's cold, gray and drizzly outside. Ick. It's just depressing. Why do I live in the Midwest again? I actually looked into moving to San Antonio after college. I got the local paper from there and got a packet from the Chamber of Commerce. Then my mother got sick and any ideas of leaving were permanently shelved. When I win the lottery, I'll keep our house here so we have someplace to stay when visiting friends and family...but I'm outta here! So, since all that'll never happen I suppose I should buy a sunlamp and make the best of it.

On a very personal note, let's take a moment to discuss my pelvis. It feels like it's disintegrating under my flesh. My chiropractor was kind enough to show me, with her model pelvis, what mine was currently doing to cause me such anguish. It ain't good. The entire thing has gotten off-kilter and the end result is the feeling that someone has just whacked me in the crotch with an axe. TMI? Sorry, but it's all I can really focus on right now. She can (and does) adjust this, but when you have a giant melon pressing into your nether regions, it doesn't hold for long. Between my awesome chiro and my awesome massage therapist, I can get a day or two of relief which I guess is better than a sharp stick to the eye.

I'm sure this isn't the only discomfort I'll be having in the next seven weeks (or twelve weeks...that whole post-partum thing sucks, too.) I'll try to manage a whine-free post or two, but I ain't makin' any promises!

Friday, January 07, 2005

Yukon, Jack.

Man is it ever C-O-L-D here! And I hate it! I was welcomed back from an out of town trip by an nice big ice storm...and as a bonus, my house had no power! Awwww, jeez. So instead of letting my daughter hang out with us for the rest of the day, we took her to school. She was quite open to the idea after I explained there would be no cartoons or snacks at home. We picked her up as late as possible, ran some errands and then took her to see Polar Express. We got home late and had a quick "camp-out" by our gas fireplace in the living room. She got to make smores over a candle and sleep in her sleeping bag. My husband and I dragged our spare bedroom mattress into the living room and curled up in front of the fire. The wonderful, hard working folks at the power company had our juice back up & running by about midnight. Thanks, guys!

This would be the second time since we moved into our house we've had no power for more than a few hours. Last time, it was five days. We lived in my husband's aunt's basement....with a baby. It was great. Yeah. We're seriously thinking about investing in a generator one of these days. It would be sooner than later, but with the new baby coming, the expenses are already racking up. Yesterday my husband and I braved the cold to go buy a new fold out couch for our spare bedroom. We're turning it into a playroom to make way for the baby's room. Hmm, funny how you build your own house & then run out of room. No one to blame but myself on that one! We found a really nice fold out that has an air mattress attached to the top, so you don't get that pull-out feel. No bar in the middle of your back, etc. Considering my mother-in-law bought us our current spare bed, and wasn't too happy about the prospect of a pull-out, we thought we'd better splurge on a good one. So that cost a fortune. Also, we've decided to bank our baby's cord blood. Man, is THAT ever expensive! And here's the thing....the odds that you'll EVER need it are like, 1 in 500,000. That said, if you DID need it, there is absolutely no replacement in the entire world for it. It's a once in a lifetime chance to have that resource at your disposal. Plus, with all the active stem-cell research going on, it seems as though they are uncovering new uses for it daily! And last but not least, there exists the potential that it could be used to help our daughter or even my husband or I. So there you have it. Long story long, the generator will have to wait.

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