Friday, March 25, 2005

Sunrise, Sunset

Oh, goodness. Is it weird that I feel old with a newborn baby at home? Or maybe that should MAKE me feel old. I dunno. I had to go out and buy some fat clothes so I don't have to wear PJ's in public. I'll be ready to hit the gym again soon. I want to see all of this goo melt off. Boy, it is NOT EASY to get these pounds off either. I've done it before, so I guess I'll do it again. I'm so freakin' tired right now, I can't imagine actually working out. It may kill me.

Another main reason I feel old is my darling daughter. The first thing was the sign up for Kindergarten. Oh my God...my child is entering the school system. Seriously..it makes me reel. This really is a new chapter in her life...and mine. To PTA or not to PTA, that is the question. The other thing that really marks the passing of time was what happened in the grocery store yesterday. She was working on a lollipop she had gotten from daycare when all of a sudden she SQUEALED! MY TOOTH!!!! She had bitten down hard enough on her sucker to make her bottom tooth loose! At first she looked petrified, then when I put a thick sugar coating all over it (OH...yea! What a big girl you are! You're going to lose your first tooth! This is soooo exciting!) the tears dried up and it became a big, exciting deal. She told the cashier on our way out and then asked me to make her a sign announcing the development. (snicker!!) My husband took her to daycare this morning and had to nix her invitation to classmates to "feel her loose tooth". Yeah...that's what she needs...12 grubby hands IN HER MOUTH. He told her SHE could wiggle it while the others watched. Good call, honey.

My husband goes back to work next week, and I'm a bit bummed. I've been spoiled, as he has been doing the early morning feedings PLUS getting my daughter ready for school and taking her there. Now, I'll have to DO IT ALL. This means no more PJ's until 2 p.m. I know, I know...boo hoo. I guess it's good to start getting into a more normal routine anyway. I have four more weeks off. When I go back to work, I'll be hitting the gym every morning...sleep or no sleep, so this will be a good exercise in "morning organization". Sigh. I really should refrain from thinking too far ahead, though. I have a tendency to blow things out of proportion in my head and make them more daunting than they actually are. So for today, anyway..it's PJ's until 2 p.m. I'll worry about tomorrow...tomorrow!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Still here!

Sorry for the absence. There's not really too much going on. Each day is pretty much like the last one. Guess that's par for the course on maternity leave, huh? The baby is still doing great. His first doctor's appointment is tomorrow. Our only real health concern is his tongue. The little thingy underneath his tongue extends all the way to the tip. So, basically, he can't stick his tongue out. It turns out my husband also had that problem as a baby, only they discovered his at the hospital when he was five weeks old. He was "failing to thrive". They just clip it, I guess. The baby's eating fine, but I worry about speech problems down the road. Weird.

My husband is going out with his friends today for St. Patrick's Day. I guess he felt guilty, because he volunteered to take all of the night feedings last night. Well...OK!!! Some of my friends are going out, too, but I have to pass due to my husband's plans. I actually feel up to going out, but I literally have nothing to wear. I guess I got rid of all of my fat clothes from before, thinking I'd never need them again. I had to break down and go to Old Navy to buy some comfy lounge pants and a baggy sweatshirt just to have something to wear in public. Doh! I know, I'll have to go buy a couple of items to get me over the hump. It just pains me to spend money on clothes I won't wear very long (kinda like maternity clothes!).

I'm still not crazy, just yet! Isn't that good news? Every now & then I think about how my schedule will be AFTER maternity leave & I get a little freaked out. I have a few months of DOUBLE daycare, and then my daughter starts Kindergarten in August. Organization is not one of my strong points, so hopefully the new schedules won't make me too nuts. Hopefully....

Anyway, I forgot to mention on my last entry that my husband bought me incredibly expensive diamond earrings that he presented to me in the hospital right after I gave birth. Granted, I had previously mentioned (OK, more than once) how another friend of mine got diamonds after the birth of EACH of her children. Sooo.......? So, he needed a little prodding, but really came through! Isn't that nice? They are very lovely little hoop style with diamonds running down the fronts. Practical for everyday wear. And then to top THAT off, he did night feedings exclusively for the first two weeks. Man, either he really loves me or he's just DYING to finally get some! Poor bastard.

Today I plan to hop on my exercise bike for the first time. I've been taking walks, but I feel ready to take it up a notch. This fat ain't gonna melt itself! I "feel" up to going to the gym, but again...nothing to wear. Plus, there's that old joke about being too fat to go to the gym. That's kinda where I'm at right now. I need to do some things at home first, plus get some clothes (the camouflaging variety, preferably) before I can show my face there again. Ironic, huh? At least I'm not permanently attached to the couch right now...could be worse.

OK, now I'm just rambling...so I'll give ya'll another update later!

Friday, March 04, 2005

I'm not mental....yet.

There's nothing like having a second baby to make me realize one thing: I was COMPLETELY nuts after I had the first one! Sure, I did a great job hiding it and all, but man, oh, man. I was seriously teetering on the edge after my daughter was born almost five years ago.

Oh, wait. Lemme back up. I had the baby on Monday! Let me run through the gory details, then I'll get back to my story. I went in on Sunday night for my hormone insert Cervadil. At 7 a.m. Monday, they started my Pitocin drip and broke my water (oh boy did THAT hurt!). I got my oh-so-painful epidural around 11 a.m. Then...I waited. And waited. And waited. I was dilated to around a 4-5 for hours on end. Plus, the epidural for some reason made me really tired, so the whole day was pretty uneventful. I was starting to fear the worst when I felt I wasn't progressing. I was seeing swirling c-section images dancing in my head. Oh, wait! Then the good news! I was at a 7! Yippee! Right after that, loads of well-wishers had piled in and were hanging out staring at me. It's like everyone was waiting for an alien to come shooting from the front of my hospital gown or something. So after a bit "the pressure" kicked in. "Um, honey...you might want to go get the nurse." Everyone filed out of the room and never got to come back. It was GO time! At first they told me my doctor's partner was going to deliver the baby since she was already at the hospital. I was ticked, because I hadn't seen my doctor at all that day, then he wasn't even going to show up for the event itself! (His office is across the parking lot from the hospital). At the last minute, he breezed in like a rock star stepping onto the stage. I was happy, because I really love my doctor and I wanted his familiar face there. I did, however, tell him that I would've killed him if he hadn't shown up. About five or six contractions later, out came the baby boy! Only about 5 minutes of pushing. Guess I stressed about his size for nothing. 7 lbs., 9 oz. Not too bad. One stitch "just for good measure".

We got home on Wednesday afternoon after a traumatic (for me AND the baby) circumcision. Boy, is THAT ever rough. Poor little pee-pee! Ouch!

ANYWAY....this experience shows me an extremely sharp contrast in my mental well-being. I don't know if it's just a "first vs. second" baby thing or what. Perhaps it's because I'm bottle feeding this time around. I just know that I feel SOOOO much more "normal" this time. I'm not weirded out, traumatized, extra-moody or even sleep deprived (yet). My husband has been good enough to sleep in the baby's room for the first week or two so I can sleep all night long. Wow! I am very sleep-dependent so that makes a very big difference. I went for my first walk this morning and am feeling ready to heal up and get back into my normal swing of things. I have seven more weeks off before I'll head back to work...and even then I have the luxury of "easing back into it".

Thus far, there's just sleeping and eating happening. This boy is a heavy sleeper! After a few more weeks, I anticipate we'll get a little more "eyeball time". Until then, I'll just be basking in the glow of motherhood, once again. (I almost make this sound appealing,
don't I!?!)

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