Monday, May 22, 2006

You like me! You really, really like me!

Not so much YOU, but my employer. So I am NOT jobless. Whew! It's been a white-knuckling few weeks. I was covertly offered a choice by a former manager within my company: take a 3 month severance package or switch over into one of my company's other divisions because my territory was going to be absorbed into someone else's. Hmmmm. Job or no job? I think I'll take the job. So my NEW boss called me on Friday and offered me the job officially!

The bad news is that a bunch of people I really liked lost their jobs on Friday. And even worse....they canned someone in order to give me her job. I feel kinda bad, but I like to think they would've cut her loose whether or not I took the job. Yeah...just keep tellin' yerself that.

Anyway, one of my good work buddies will be taking over my OLD territory so at least we'll see each other over lunch when he's in town.

In my own mind I like to think of this as a promotion. It's less travel, possibly more money and people within my company went to great lengths to make sure I wasn't let go. I feel all warm and fuzzy! The bad news is that I know jack-squat about the field I'm getting ready to move into. Two weeks of on-line training and then TWO WEEKS out of town for training! Aaaaaaaaaah!

Oh well, it's better than the bread line, right?

So there you have it. Next time I promise to finish the Hamster story. It just keeps gettin' better.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


OK...I've been a baaaad blogger. According to my sister I have LOTS to talk about. Getting it from my frazzled brain onto the computer has been a big 'ol challenge. So I'm gonna break this down. I'll give you the gist and perhaps when I haven't lost my will to live, I'll go into more detail!

Remember the feral neighbor kid that runs around naked and craps in other people's yards? He went into another neighbors house when no one was home during the day and KILLED their pet hamster. Just...speechless. (Actually I wasn't, but I'll save that story for another time!)

OHHH! HERE'S some content. For your consideration: The letter I wrote to my daughter's bus driver. Geeeez!

Hi Mr. Smith-

Daughter has been telling me that she and her friend C. are assigned to a seat on the bus with a girl named Snarly.

According to Daughter, Snarly frequently says unkind things to both of the other girls and has even threatened physical violence (i.e. she'll "punch them" if they don't sit where she says). This is not the first time Daughter has mentioned this to me, but she finally agreed to have me ask to rearrange the seating assignment. I know it's late in the year, but I'm guessing this will not only apply to the rest of this year, but perhaps the future as well. I'd like to avoid any further conflict if possible for all of the girls, and from what I understand, it would be a relief for both Daughter and C. to be moved, although I cannot speak for C.'s parents.

Thanks for your help. If you need to reach me or wish to discuss it further, please feel free to contact me at your convenience.

Thanks in advance for your assistance!

The bus driver did call me and was very accommodating. Snarly better watch her ass. That's all I gotta say.

Also, I totally went off on a random neighbor I don't even know. I did know he's a cop (didn't know he was a Major, AND I don't care). The kiddies and I were walking with another neighbor and her kids. The older kids were all up ahead on scooters when this dog SHOT out from it's yard, attacking the oldest neighbor kid who was standing right next to my daughter. The girl just ended up with scratches, but I was PISSED! I charged up yelling "Do you have an aggressive dog running around LOOSE out here?!?!" The wife's response was "He's not aggressive MA'AM." I was all WHH-AA-TT?!?! I threatened to call Animal Control if I ever saw that dog anywhere near the sidewalk again. There I go again! Makin' everyone fall in love with me!

Anywhoooo, the biggest reason that I've been preoccupied lately is some big changes at work. I may be "affected" by my company's "downsizing". The last two weeks have been a flurry and as of right now, my fate is uncertain. I'm trying reaaal hard not to run around like my hair's on fire. I fear change. It sucks and I'm pissed.

Yup...that pretty much sums it up.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Sleeping Beauty visits Davey Jones Locker

My husband somehow thought it would be a GREAT idea to get my daughter two goldfish for her birthday. I was all "Whoa partner! Your funeral and YOUR deal. Not mine. Good luck." Man sometimes it is CRAZY hard being right all the time!

She names her two fish after her two favorite princesses. Ariel and Sleeping Beauty. Welllll, Sleeping Beauty was a little twitchy from word go. I said to my husband "Oh, yeah. I give that one a day, tops." He thought I was being all evil and cynical. What a weird coincidence that he was already at work the next day when I had to use a COMB to fish Sleeping Beauty's lifeless corpse from the tank. Hmmm. My daughter really didn't seem all that perturbed by the incident and said "Oh well. I guess we'll go get another one tomorrow." Did I forget to install part of her sensitivity chip? Damn.

Well let me just tell you that Sleeping Beauty II didn't make it that long, either. Ariel is a giant hog and aggressively eats all the food, so as I figure it, Ariel has been off'ing the Sleeping Beauty clan. It's like the Hatfields and McCoys...only in a five gallon tank and no shotguns. Did I mention I'm tired?

I tried to impress upon my daughter that Ariel would no doubt find a way to deep 6 any competition that we brought her way. She said "Let's try just...TWO more times, then we'll just let Ariel be alone."

So far Sleeping Beauty III is doing OK, but I'm sure it's only a matter if time before we have to perform another burial at sea.

If you look reeeeeal close, you CAN almost see an evil gleam in Ariel's bulgy little black eye. Bitch.

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