Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Extreme Makeover

OK, my intent is not to bore with minutiae of my dog's lives, but here's one last story, until more drama unfolds.

Poor puppy. Almost a week after a near-death experience, what do I do? Take him in for the 'ole one-two chop. Neuter time! This has been long-time coming. I wanted to do this a while back, but I have an agreement with my breeder that she can show him, therefore, he cannot be fixed. After she blantantly blew me off for many, many months, I finally called her on it. I sent an e-mail. "Hey, since you don't seem to be wanting to show the puppy any time soon, I wanted to get with you regarding having him neutered". Cue the crickets chirping. Then I left a phone message a couple weeks later. That drove her into some action. Mind you, she hasn't even SEEN the dog in probably close to a year. She says "Oh, I wanted you to be able to say you had a champion". As if I care. That's not my bag, baby. So I said "I just want a happy pet". I won't go into detail, but this woman is one of those people that is ALWAYS in the midst of some giant emergency, usually health related. And I thought I had drama! Ha, ha! Boy oh BOY...don't make the mistake of asking her "How's it going?". No, sireee!

Anyway, she finally agreed to let me do it. She said "If I come to see him and he's gorgeous, I'll just cry!" to which I replied "I'll have some tissues handy for you". Whatever.

So off to the vet. While we're there, the vet did her best to drive up the bill in quite a convincing manner. "Well, since he's already out we could also get that nasty scale off of his teeth, and would you like us to put in a microchip? Danes & boxers are the most commonly stolen dogs. We can trim those long nails, too". Sure. Why not? So after resigning myself to a giant bill I said "Wow, I didn't realize that you guys did Extreme Makeovers for dogs!". Must've gone right over her head. Not even a tiny smile. Oh well. Not the first time my lame attempts to be funny fall flat on their face...won't be the last.

The puppy was a sad sight last night. I felt pretty bad for him. We let him sleep in our bedroom in case he had any post-op problems during the night. He got a good night's sleep & is more like his old self today: Big & goofy.

Hey, you finally turned on your comments! Glad to hear the doggie is feeling better already. Maybe neutering will keep him out of strangers' swimming pools...

- Jane
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