Tuesday, June 28, 2005
What's next? No fat chicks?
So this weekend marks probably the third or fourth time I've asked my husband to ask my mother-in-law to stop calling my daughter "piglet" or "porker" when she eats all of her food or wants a snack shortly after a meal. Anyone wanna back me up here? Maybe I'm overreacting, but for some reason it REALLY bothers me when she does this. My daughter is in no way overweight, but it just seems like this "joking" is over-the-top unnecessary. Let's see just how early we can give my daughter a horrible body image and/or an eating disorder! I hear they're really starting younger these days! Jeez.
My husband said something to her last night (supposedly for the second time) and of course her reaction was "Oh, I'm just teasing her! I'm not serious!". Oh, well I guess that makes it OK. Sigh. Then my husband and I had this dumb argument as to what constituted "name-calling". He says "Well, I call her 'cutie', and that's a name". My stand is that "name-calling" is something derogatory or unflattering. Does the person feel good when you use the 'name' or is it something that you wouldn't mind her saying to someone else? If no, then it's name-calling and I think it needs to stop. In my opinion, you set the example for kids as far as what is and is not OK to say to other people or how to treat them. You try not to swear in front of your kids so they don't, in turn, swear. Why would you call your child an unflattering name? Then what happens when your child's school calls telling you your daughter sent her chubby classmate into a crying fit when she called her "porker". Do you see where I'm coming from? After two "warnings" I'll just nut-up and say something myself next time. I like to make my husband do the dirty work since it's his mom, but I've really had enough. I've never had any confrontation with my mother-in-law and really don't want to start, but enough is enough! Stop saying mean things to my daughter! Is it really too much to ask?
So this weekend marks probably the third or fourth time I've asked my husband to ask my mother-in-law to stop calling my daughter "piglet" or "porker" when she eats all of her food or wants a snack shortly after a meal. Anyone wanna back me up here? Maybe I'm overreacting, but for some reason it REALLY bothers me when she does this. My daughter is in no way overweight, but it just seems like this "joking" is over-the-top unnecessary. Let's see just how early we can give my daughter a horrible body image and/or an eating disorder! I hear they're really starting younger these days! Jeez.
My husband said something to her last night (supposedly for the second time) and of course her reaction was "Oh, I'm just teasing her! I'm not serious!". Oh, well I guess that makes it OK. Sigh. Then my husband and I had this dumb argument as to what constituted "name-calling". He says "Well, I call her 'cutie', and that's a name". My stand is that "name-calling" is something derogatory or unflattering. Does the person feel good when you use the 'name' or is it something that you wouldn't mind her saying to someone else? If no, then it's name-calling and I think it needs to stop. In my opinion, you set the example for kids as far as what is and is not OK to say to other people or how to treat them. You try not to swear in front of your kids so they don't, in turn, swear. Why would you call your child an unflattering name? Then what happens when your child's school calls telling you your daughter sent her chubby classmate into a crying fit when she called her "porker". Do you see where I'm coming from? After two "warnings" I'll just nut-up and say something myself next time. I like to make my husband do the dirty work since it's his mom, but I've really had enough. I've never had any confrontation with my mother-in-law and really don't want to start, but enough is enough! Stop saying mean things to my daughter! Is it really too much to ask?
Comments:
While I think your method of "letting the hubbie deal with his own mother" is the best approach, it isn't getting the job done! I think that's terrible to comment on someone's eating habits at such an early age. Furthermore, 10 bucks says she WON'T be saying the same sorts of things to your son.
Maybe next time she makes a comment, you can say something along the lines of "we don't call each other names like that" or "we don't use those words" (maybe if you say "we" you will get the implied sense that the hubby agrees?). You have a point - if it is not acceptable for your daughter to call someone a porker, it should not be acceptable for her GRANDMOTHER to call someone a porker.
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Maybe next time she makes a comment, you can say something along the lines of "we don't call each other names like that" or "we don't use those words" (maybe if you say "we" you will get the implied sense that the hubby agrees?). You have a point - if it is not acceptable for your daughter to call someone a porker, it should not be acceptable for her GRANDMOTHER to call someone a porker.
