Monday, August 30, 2004

Am I glowing yet?

Why, yes I am! Unfortunately it's not the rosy cheeks of the happy mother-to-be....it's the oil slick that's now forming on my forehead and on my nose. Oh, wait! My back & neck, too! At least the actual acne decided to confine itself to my neck & back for now. I can hide it behind the circus tents I'll soon be wearing...maybe.

OK, here's the deal: when I had my daughter over four years ago, I gained ALOT of weight. Yes, I remember it well. I even remember avoiding mirrors toward the end unless I was FULLY clothed. Well, this time things are different in my fantasy world. Who knows...maybe I can make it a reality, but I'm not making any promises...I'd hate to let anyone down. BUT, perhaps the potential turning point was today. One of my good friends went out and spent at metric buttload of money on maternity clothes during her last pregnancy. She actually got some cute stuff...some of it almost even sassy! While trying this stuff on, I realized that there is some potential to look like a cute pregnant lady and not a land-monster. That realization makes me think if I can maintain a reasonable weight and keep some muscle tone, I just might be able to pull this thing off without being completely depressed by how I look at the end. Maybe I CAN keep a real healthy glow afterall. I'll keep ya posted on that one.

The lowlight of my day today was my severe pregnancy induced headache. Before my lunch appointment today, I took 2 Tylenol. Mmmmm, yeah. No good. The headache was back in full force by the time lunch is over. Soooo, I went home early & took 2 Tylenol 3's. (My doc said he'd rather I take those than handfuls of regular Tylenol!) So of course I fell asleep...and when I woke up...headache STILL THERE! Geeez. After a Coca-Cola C-2 I finally felt better...whether it was the extra time, the caffeine or the sugar I have no idea...but what a weird cure!

There I go again...painting a beautiful picture of pregnancy. Makes ya wanna sign right up, huh?

Monday, August 23, 2004

I've got your exhibit right here...

So last weekend I had the thrill of having an exhibit for my company at a state sponsored physician's meeting. I do this every year, but this year the turnout was, well, embarrassing. Not only were there just a handful of doctors in attendance, but there were also only about 12 exhibitors. To put in perspective, I attended a national meeting for my company one year and there were hundreds of exhibitors. I may not live in the biggest state in the Union, but I was expecting a FEW more reps to be there! Goods news for the docs, though. It made their run through the gauntlet a little shorter on their way to the break table.

It's an interesting dynamic that goes on between the doctors and reps at these things. Here's what the smart doctors do. The others should really take a cue from these clever folks. The smart doctors actually make the rounds. Table to table. They end their short visit to your exhibit by thanking you for sponsoring the meeting and then moving onto the next table. If they're really good at it, they can achieve this during the first break, and then they're free to chat with their buddies guilt-free during the remaining breaks. Seems so easy, don't it? The other docs dodge warily through the exhibit hall avoiding eye contact with the reps. They dart back to the snack table, grab something, then turn to carefully scope the room for reps they might grace with their presence. Naturally, these are always the guys I can never see in their offices, plus, I am rarely one of the "chosen" ones. It's sort of poor form to approach them unless they actually get in speaking distance of your table. It's their own fault if they feel "on the spot" in the middle of the room. If only they'd take their cues from the smart docs, all that uncomfortable avoidance could be circumvented completely with a brief friendly visit right up front.

And then there's the total flip-side. I have one doctor whom I never call on, because she is so low on my priority list, that a visit really isn't warranted. But great news! I'm her new best friend! Maybe her only friend. This woman, I hate to say, embodies the stereotypical Jewish woman. She's like a caricature come to life. Last year at this same meeting this woman approached me, apparently with some interest in my products. Somehow the conversation quickly morphed into how much her life sucks because of her divorce. And on, and on, and on. So, I surmised, this woman is NUTS. Completely nuts. Who tells a complete stranger this stuff? Cuckoo.

Imagine my surprise THIS YEAR, that right after I was done telling another rep what a nut she was, she came up to me and started doing the SAME THING!!!! What?!?! Yes, life is STILL sucking due to her divorce. "Oh, sorry" I say. "Well, it's been awhile but it's just been so bad", she says. And then to top it all off, she tells me how she woke up this morning with a spilcich in her ganectagazoink. "Sounds like it's time for the chiropractor!" I say. I had a hard time not giggling while she was talking to me. I was having a brief fantasy of quickly feigning death on the spot. Just hittin' the ground like a sack 'o potatoes. My friends and I often joke about doing this in a real pinch. Once when I was visiting Chicago with my girlfriends, a "special" guy sat down next to my friend while we were on the "L" train and initiated a conversation. In her desperation to ease out of it, she attempted to include ME in the conversation. My immediate response was to feign death (coulda been sleep, too, I guess). She was all like, "bitch", under her breath. We still laugh about that. Anyway, I digress. So I got her to go away by agreeing to come to her office this week. Since I've been with the company almost five years, perhaps it's time anyway.

I'll be sure to leave a forwarding message & a trail of breadcrumbs when I go...just in case. Maybe some S.O.S. flares might not be a bad idea, either. Gulp...

Monday, August 16, 2004

Nine Month Flu

ell....for those of you who HAVEN'T heard the riveting news yet....I've got it. Yup. The Nine Month Flu. Prego..knocked up.."expecting". What I'm REALLY expecting is six and a half more months of fatness and discomfort. I hate to cast a dark shadow over a happy event, but I don't make a happy, glowing pregnant lady. I'm a frumpy, grumpy fat pregnant lady.

Granted, in regards to the "fat" part I have no one to blame but myself. But let me explain. I consider myself a pretty social person. I like to get all "cute" and meet the girls out for a cocktail (or six) on occasion. Well, that just doesn't happen when you're prego. So far, I've gained a pound for every week pregnant I am. So far. I'm sure that will pick up using a brisk pace any day now. Here's my problem: I feel sorry for myself. The solution? Induldge! Can't drink? Chocolate! Clothes don't fit? Cake! Feet swollen? Ice Cream should bring that pesky swelling down! Why not? 50 lbs. later into my first pregnancy I realized that I now have ANOTHER reason to feel sorry for myself. I'M FAT! I was looking at my daughter's first birthday pics the other day, and I will give myself props for getting all the goo off by then, but jeeeez! One zillion Myoplex Lite shakes later (plus a personal trainer to kick my ass), I dropped down to a lower weight than I was to begin with.

Gee, I have such a clear recollection of my errors the FIRST time...SURELY I learned my lesson, right? Um, yeah. This is the girl that freaked out if she missed the gym more than 2 days in a row. Now it's like, "gym?" oh, yeah...I remember that place! Stellar idea! I'll put that on my "to do" list! Meet ya there! Right after my nappy. Hopefully both my energy AND motivation will pick up soon. Right now, eating and sleeping are TOP priority and forcing myself to lift weights and aerobicise sounds about as good as a root canal.

I suppose as long as I make 80% of my food choices healthy ones, it all washes out in the end, right? I understand there's calcium in chocolate AND ice cream. Knock, knock. Who's there? A bonus!

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Random Travels

Well...no actual "hill folk" on the float/camping trip. We did encounter rebel flag waving rednecks aplenty, though. Same thing, I guess. The trip went well. I got no sleep whatsoever Friday night, mostly due to aforementioned redneck hooting, cursing and blasting loud music until, oh, four a.m.

Saturday was our float day. We got a raft rather than a canoe. Much more comfortable, but also more sluggish than canoes. The good news was that when you lost your will to live, you could actually lie down on the raft. On a canoe, you're just S.O.L. The river was fun. It had kind of a party atmosphere all the way down. I think the most popular raft on the river belonged to my sister and two of my friends. They played the role of "hot chicks" for the day. My poor sister somehow got stuck rowing/navigating the raft ALL DAY! One of my friends had made a zillion Jello shots, so they were all pretty comfy.

The river route was just long enough that I really had lost my will to live by the time we rounded the bend to see the sign were could drop off the rafts and catch the bus back to the campsite.

We all ate like ravenous beasts Saturday night. My sister & I both ate TWO hamburgers each, plus beans, chips, burnt corn on the cob...and of course, smores. Mmmmmm, smores.

Delicious sleep was at last mine on Saturday night. Sheer exhaustion will do that to you, I guess.

Last weekend marked our final weekend adventures with the family trip to a local lake. We hit the road for about 3 1/2 hours and met my in-laws at a beautiful lake cabin. Have you seen the Expdia commerical where the guy says "Oh, a hunting lodge...the kids would LOVE that" then has visions of them being terrified looking at the disembodied animal heads during a thunderstorm? That's pretty much were we stayed. The dead animals didn't bother my daughter in the least. It was a really cool two bedroom, two bath cabin with a deck, living room & kitchen. We brought our boat and mostly spent the weekend boating, fishing, swimming and eating. What more could you ask for? Plus, the lodge we were staying at had a "kid's club" which occupied my daughter for 3 hours, two of the mornings we were there. Bonus! I also got to squeeze in a massage. It's the first "foriegn" massage I've had since the nacolepic massage therepist on my cruise. This weekend's therapist did a great job. Whew.

We have been GO! GO! GO! in July and early August. Finally....I'll be sleeping in my own bed for more than a week straight. In mid-September we'll be visiting friends on the East Coast and staying in historic Old Saybrook, CT at a lovely beach house. Yeah! Til, then....business as usual. But you know how THAT goes. I'm sure adventure is really just around the bend.

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