Monday, January 30, 2006

Old Soul

Having a baby checked into the hospital for seven days (or less....or more...or at all) chips countless years off of your soul. You can NEVER imagine what it does to you until it happens. And I would NEVER wish that experience on anyone. Last week was the second worst week of my entire life. I'm still sick as hell myself, but my little bunny-head is feeling much better. Grandma is in town taking care of him this week so he can fully convalesce before going back to daycare.

Since I've been battling my own illness it has created another bizarre, unexpected problem. I'm not much an outwardly emotional person, but over the past week, I've lost more than a few tears. The problem? I really, really want to have a cleansing, cathartic bawl fest, but I keep stopping myself. Why? Because I'm so congested, I'm afraid if I give in, I won't be able to breathe for hours afterwards. So now if I can only kick this damn sinus infection!

That's it for now. I'm very weary.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Stress Eating!

Hey! Guess what! I'm a classic stress eater. I have no appetite one minute, and the next I've had 1/2 a carton of Light Rocky Road. And six cookies! And 1/2 bottle of Pinot Noir! And a Klonopin! I'll run this down from worst to bad. Worst being that the baby is now staying his third night at a Children's Hospital for RSV and brochiolitis. Just got a nice fresh IV this evening. The nurse jacked up his I.V/blood draw so bad the Nurse Practitioner came in to make sure we were "ok". We didn't throw the chick under the bus. Major props to my best friend for having my daughter all day Saturday and my sister for having her all day today. HUGE help. My brain is even more fried than usual. My husband says we'd make a great VH1 show "The Worst Week Ever". That pretty much covers it.

My illness progressed into my ENT's office Monday AM. I got lucky enough to have a Myringotomy. They slice your eardrum open and suck the crap out. Robot doc says it's a "3" on scale of 1-10. Or a "9". Whatever. Asshole. Still can't hear a damn thing. Our major financial investment we've been working on is circling the drain. Not forever, but shit went all to hell this week.

Life sucks right now. The best part of the day (no, really) was when my husband called from the hospital so I could hear the baby coo and chat (and yak mucus) over the phone. He's been a limp, lifeless rag doll all day, so now I'm off to bed feeling a little better than when I left our quarantined room a few hours ago. Good night.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

If You Give a Cat a Pill...

You will save yourself from being sprayed down BID with the liquid medicine you INSISTED the vet give you for ancient kitty's sinus infection (yes...the cat's got it too!). I called up, ate crow and picked up the tablets. Day two and he's getting better already.

Snork Part Deux

After waking up at 3:30 a.m. with the most unbelievable searing pain in my left ear, I rolled out of bed, took an Aleve and went online. I needed medical attention. Stat. I found a walk-in clinic nearby that opened at 9 a.m. Saturdays. Score! I managed to get back to sleep for a couple hours. When I finally made my way downstairs this morning, my husband was quick to point out my daughter's lovely rose-colored eyeball. "Well, I guess I'll have company at the clinic then!".

The best part of the whole deal was that there was actually no wait, and they accepted my insurance! Classic pink-eye for the girl and severe, over-the-top ear infection for me! The PA actually said "Wow!" when she peered into my left ear. "It's almost bleeding. That may burst." Awesome. Armed with my scripts for eye drops ("But I don't WANT any eye drops!"), a Z-pack and a Diflucan, I was on my merry way.

So let's break it down: We have one sinus infection, one ear infection, two cases of pink eye (and a partridge in a pear tree). Anybody wanna come over to MY house? Yeah....I didn't think so.

Thursday, January 12, 2006


Who HASN'T been sick lately? I knew my luck would run out before long. My daughter had a cough that lasted over 3 weeks, the baby has been intermittently snotty and I finally made my husband go to the doc last week for his obvious sinus infection. Today, my husband had to take the baby to the doctor for his pink-eye while I languished in bed from MY brand-spanking new cold. What's the deal? It's almost like a mini-flu or just a really ugly cold. Not that stuffed up, but lot o' post-nasal drip and just...ICK. I FEEL like crap. Very general. Weird.

OK, enough self pity for today. My advice for all? Wash, wash, wash your hands. But above all....stop licking doorknobs immediately.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

We love BOOTY!

One of my quiet-baby tricks, especially prior to mealtimes, is to give the baby some finger foods. First, I got him little flower-shaped baby snacks. A winner! Then, I realized for a buck more I could buy an entire box of Cheerios and have four times more goodies! He also liked the Cheerios. Then I remembered an article my sister had sent me about Veggie Booty. I had forgotten until today so I checked the health food aisle and SCORE! The kid LOVES the stuff. I gingerly tried a chunk myself. First bite's a little too kale/parsley strong, but subsequent bites were actually pretty good. When my daughter strolled into the kitchen I offered to let her in on our snacking. The face she made when I offered her a pond-scum colored puff called Veggie Booty was priceless. Needless to say, she took a pass.

The baby has been vacillating between lovely, happy dream baby and giant, hairy crabass. When he had his head thrown back in a fit a couple days ago, I saw a possible culprit: two teeth coming in at the same time. Yipppeee. I have high hopes for, oh..say, 18 months. Not yet having a full command on the communication thing, but by that time he'll have more teeth and be able to walk. WhatEVER shall I do with myself then?

Monday, January 02, 2006


I remember seeing a picture of Average Jane once, wearing a shirt that read Inappropriate! When I think back to the following story, for some reason that shirt keeps popping to mind. Hmmmm. I can't imagine why...

So rather than our full-blown Christmas Party this year, we opted instead for a smaller New Year's Eve party. I made it a casual affair and asked people to bring a snack or appetizer if they'd like. Remember that whole "trimming the fat" thing, right? Anyhow, the party went off without a hitch. Everyone had a good time and we were slinging drinks behind our basement bar like crazy. The Bomb Pop martini was the clear winner of the night, and the Key Lime Pie martini was good, too. We had Bellinis at midnight to ring in 2006. Our very last guests to leave were my husband's co-worker and his wife. I've met the co-worker on four or five occasions. I've heard some interesting tidbits about what this couple does in their "leisure" time. Let's just say it involves other people and requires a remarkable lack of jealously.

Throughout the evening, I would occasionally catch co-worker staring at me. I'd give a quick smile and look elsewhere. Some people just do that. In fact, I think I may even be a starer on occasion without even realizing it until later. It happens. ANYWAY....we're wrapping it up for the night (morning) and we're doing the standard goodbyes, when co-worker gives me the "thanks for inviting us" hug and says something completely inappropriate into my ear. When I threw him a bewildered look, he mumbled something like "....just kidding". WHAT?!?! I have honestly never in my life had anything like that happen to me, so I'll admit I was at a loss.

When my husband and I were getting ready to turn in I said "So do you think that co-worker was drunk?" "Nah...he'd had a bit but I think he's OK to get home." To which I replied "Well that makes his parting comment to me even more strange." I tell my husband and say "Seriously, don't say anything, though. It's no big deal." My husband actually did shrug it off saying "Well, that's just because they're swingers." Hmm. OK. But I'M not! I really didn't want to start any shit, but somehow it would have felt very wrong NOT to tell him. I'm sure he's already forgotten about it, but for some reason I keep coming back to it. I am SO not easily offended, but this was somehow different. It's alot of nerve to come to another man's house, eat his food, drink his liquor and then make a pass at his wife, don't ya think? Normally I'd be flattered if it was more of an open, general flirtation, but this one went too far. Creepy.

Perhaps I should leave this whole party-throwing thing to other people from now on. Mmm..nah! We do have alot of fun. Next year, though, I think co-worker's invitation just might accidentally get lost in the mail. Damn that postman!

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